American Family In France

We have a French friend who’s a maniac for board and card games.  He’s fun to hang out with because we learn all kinds of things about the French; not just the games they play but game language, customs, and general French attitudes about winning, losing, and -er- cheating.  They don’t really consider it cheating, so much as being creative and smarter than the other players.

One game we liked a lot was called “trouduc” which pronounced sounds like:  troh-dook.  My friend thankfully helped me with the spelling because I had it really wrong, so you can take this spelling to the bank.  It’s good.

Anyway, you have several people playing (4-6 players) and each is dealt cards from a regular deck until all the cards are gone.  The person who is dealt the Queen of Hearts starts the game.  He is encouraged to rub his superior status and position in the noses of the less fortunate.

He puts down any card he wants (2 is the strongest and 3 is the weakest, so the order of cards from weakest to strongest is 3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,J,Q,K,A,2).  [This outrageous ordering of cards is typical French stuff - they always like to do shit their own way, even if it flies in the face of reason and sense.]

The next player puts down either the same card or one that has a higher number.  So, for example, if the first player puts down a 4, the next player must put down a 4 or higher (5,6,7…).

If one player puts down a card, and the next player puts down the same number card, the third player is skipped and the 4th player is up next.  So anytime a number is played two times in a row, the next player skips his turn.  [If you are mad at your spouse, and wish to make his or her life miserable, make sure he or she sits directly to your left, as this game is played clockwise.  I also highly recommend staggering nationalities - American, French, American, French - around the table. That way you can work teamwork and retribution into your play, yet act like you don't care about world domination.]

If the person who starts the round puts down a pair (like a pair of 4s), all the players following also have to put down pairs.  You can also do this with 3-of-a-kind or 4-of-a-kind.  So if player #1 puts down a pair of 5s, the next player must put down a pair of 5s or higher (6,7,8,…) and the next must put down a pair, etc.

If a person doesn’t have a card they can play, or if they don’t want to play that round for strategic purposes, they call “pass” and their turn is skipped; then they cannot play again until a new round is started. [They are encouraged however to harass and mock the players still in the round.  They are also in charge of refilling drinks and making sure everyone is well on their way to getting drunk.]

New rounds are started when no one can lay a higher card down anymore (either because they passed, or because there are no higher cards – meaning there is a 2 on the table; or maybe because they’ve stormed off in a huff because they’re tired of being the loser all the time.)

The person who was the last one to lay down a card in a finished round starts the next round.  This continues until all the cards are gone from everyone’s hand, or until just one person is left with cards.

Whoever rids themselves of their cards first, is the President.  Second person to get rid of their cards is the Vice President.  The second to last person to get rid of his cards is the Vice Trouduc and the last person to get rid of his cards is the Trouduc.  Anyone else in between the Vice President and the Vice Trouduc are just citizens. (sometimes they’re called ‘neutrals’)  Just so you know, the word “trouduc” translates into “asshole”.   (“trouduc” is the short version/abbreviation for: “trou du cul” – literally, hole of the ass)

So, to be clear, if you’re the last one to get rid of  your cards, you’re the Asshole.

So now, you shuffle and deal the cards over again. [Did you know all the French we have played cards with suck at shuffling?  Yes.  It's true.  And they are overly impressed with the American bridge type shuffle, where you shuffle one way and then bridge the cards to force them back down in a reverse shuffle.  Wow your French friends with this smooth move but know that you risk making them feel inferior to Americans.  They take this shit seriously.  If you are worried about maintaining the friendship, flub a few shuffles making sure cards go flying everywhere so they feel better.]

Before the new game begins, the Trop d’Uc is forced to give his two best cards to the President (best cards are 2s, Aces, Kings, Queens, Jacks, etc. – the higher the better).  And the President gives any 2 cards he wants to the Trop d’Uc (crappy ones).  Vice President gives any card he wants to the Vice Trop d’Uc and the Vice Trop d’Uc has to give the Vice President his best card (just one).

Now the Trop d’Uc starts the game as described above, going clockwise from there.  You continue the play, and again, once the cards are all out with only one person with cards, you reassign roles if they turned out differently.  So if the former VP finished first, he is now the President.  If the President finished last, he becomes the asshole.  [Lots of cheering and jeering should occur at this point.  Pointing across the table and yelling, "ASSHOLE!" is only appropriate if you have drunkeness as an excuse.  See next point.]

Try it!  You’ll like it.  I suggest copious amounts of alcohol be involved…